And the Grammy's go to...

Ok, I was lucky enough to get to go to the Grammy's this is past Sunday. My buddy EditorCub won tickets at Local Gay Bar, and we drew lots to decide who would accompany him. The show was amazing, and I got to see legends like Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Little Richard perform live. Definitely a once in a lifetime experience it was!

But, this isn't a blog about award shows... it's about the food. The tickets we got came with passes to the industry after party which was to be catered by none other than Wolfgang Puck. To be honest, I wasn't exactly thrilled, given my general lack of respect for him (my friends know me for referring to him as the "whore"), but went, thinking "what the hey?" It was the Grammy's and it was free food, so why not?

For one, I didn't expect it to be amazing food. I know the logistic nightmare of trying to feed thousands of people. Still, I was hoping for Puck's sake that his company could produce decent buffet fare.

We walk into the hall (the party was being held at the LA Convention Center) and quickly get into line at the first buffet table since we didn't get anything to eat during the ceremony itself. We were explained that it was the Latin table, and that there were also English (WTF???), Thai, and Seafood buffets. First off, there were shotglasses filled with what looked to be different kinds of salsas. I picked out the yellow one just to test it. Then salad. Some mystery meat in a glaze... Ok, I'm not getting the Latin part of this really... Oh, wait, then some hot crab guacamole with chips. A bacon wrapped something with a toothpick. And that's all the space for round 1.

The shot glass turned out to be a white fish (tilapia? flounder?) ceviche in a mango salsa. Was ok, but nothing to write home about. Salad was Boston lettuce with almonds and pears with some parmesan on top. Ick, the pears had the consistency (and sweetness) out of a can, the almonds were limp, and the leaves weren't dressed. It needed some sort of binding vinaigrette, and a more aggressive cheese to counter the sweet, like a bleu or something. Mystery meat turned out to be a dried out beef slice with a sauce that tasted... brown... for lack of a better word. The bacon thing. I bit in, and it was sweet and mushy and ew... Puck, what were you thinking? I think it was a fig or a date with cream cheese filling or something like that. Way way way too sweet.

Onto the bar for a palate cleanser. Ah vodka. Ok, next. Seafood.

The seafood bar was basically a table with a mound of ice, tangles of seaweed that attacked you while you were using your tongs (and it wasn't even the nice appetizing kind of seaweed!) shrimp, some crab legs, and mini Tabasco© bottles (product placement, anyone?). I got some shrimp and crab. Got some cocktail sauce. It was just preboiled shrimp from a bag (in this case, I'm sure it was more like a box that was forklifted into the prep area) that you can get in any megamart. Actually, it was watery, so low-end supermarket. Cocktail sauce? Bottled!

Ok... next??? Looking at the English table (why would you do English at a buffet when it's not exactly a country with an exalted culinary past??? "I'll take the pigeon pie please."), and the Thai table, and consulting with EditorCub... we decided that the food wasn't good enough to go back for more, even though it was free. A sad statement to make.

So, I tried to like your food, Woflie... but I guess it was over conceived crap that I would have served to anyone ever. Granted, I know that Puck was probably nowhere near the kitchen for this, but still. It was pretty hardcore shite to be English here myself.

Happy Eating!